How to Talk to Kids About Losing a Parent: Gentle Guidance for Solo Parents
by Jamie Lee
Losing a parent is one of the most heartbreaking experiences a child can face. As the surviving parent or guardian, you may feel overwhelmed by grief while also shouldering the responsibility of guiding your child through this painful journey. It’s natural to feel unsure about how to approach these conversations or worried about saying the “right” thing. Please know there is no perfect script — what matters most is showing up with love, honesty, and patience.
This short guide offers gentle, compassionate advice to help you talk to your children about losing a parent and support their emotional healing — with faith and hope as a steady foundation.
Preparing Yourself First: Your Grief Matters Too
Before you begin this important conversation, take some time to tend to your own emotions. Grief is deeply personal, and it’s okay to feel scared, lost, or unsure about how to move forward. By acknowledging and caring for your own feelings, you’ll be better equipped to hold space for your child’s experience.
Turning to God in prayer can bring comfort and strength in the darkest moments. Whether it’s quiet moments alone or joining a prayer group with others who understand your journey, seeking spiritual support can renew your hope and peace.
Consider reaching out to trusted friends, family members, faith leaders, or grief support groups to find the strength and comfort you need. Even simple acts of self-care — like journaling, meditation, or a quiet walk — can help you center yourself so you can be present for your child.
Remember, your openness about your grief — including your faith — can teach your child that it’s okay to feel vulnerable, to seek support, and to find hope beyond pain.
Speak in Age-Appropriate Ways: Tailoring the Conversation
Children of different ages understand death in very different ways. Using clear, simple language helps prevent misunderstandings and fear.
Toddlers and Preschoolers (Ages 2–5): Young children may not understand that death is permanent. Use straightforward terms like “died” or “passed away.” Avoid euphemisms such as “sleeping” or “went away,” which can cause confusion or fear of going to sleep themselves. Explain that the person’s body stopped working and won’t come back, but their spirit lives on in God’s care.
School-Age Children (Ages 6–12): At this stage, children begin to grasp that death is permanent but may have many questions. Be prepared for repeated questions and a range of emotions, from sadness to anger. Answer as honestly as you can, using language that matches their level of understanding. You can also gently share your faith, explaining that while the parent is no longer here, they are now with God in heaven, watching over them with love.
Teens (Ages 13+): Teenagers have a more adult-like understanding of death but may struggle with expressing their feelings. Encourage open conversations and be patient if they withdraw or seem distant. Validate their feelings and let them know grief looks different for everyone. Invite them to join you in prayer or faith-based activities as a way to find comfort and strength.
It’s okay to say “I don’t know” when questions arise. Honesty builds trust and models healthy emotional expression — both human and spiritual.
Encourage Open Expression: Let Your Child Lead
Grief isn’t a linear process, and children often experience it in waves. Some days they may seem okay; other days, their feelings may feel overwhelming.
Encourage your child to share their emotions in whatever way feels natural to them. Some children express grief through tears or talking, while others might show it through anger, withdrawal, or changes in behavior.
Creative outlets can be especially helpful for children who struggle to find the words. Drawing pictures, writing in a journal, making memory boxes, or telling stories about their parent can provide a safe way to process complex emotions.
Prayer can also be a gentle outlet — encourage your child to talk to God about their feelings, fears, or hopes. Praying together as a family or with a faith community can create moments of peace and connection.
Regularly check in with your child and reassure them that all feelings are okay — sadness, confusion, anger, or even moments of happiness. Grief doesn’t erase joy; it lives alongside it.
Build a Support System: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Stability and routine can provide comfort for grieving children. Maintaining consistent meal times, bedtimes, and daily activities helps create a sense of safety and normalcy.
Don’t hesitate to involve trusted adults who can support your child, such as grandparents, teachers, school counselors, or therapists. Sometimes, children benefit from talking with someone outside the immediate family who can help them process their feelings.
Spiritual support can also be a vital part of healing. Consider inviting a pastor or faith leader to bless your family or pray with your child. Joining a prayer group or faith-based grief support group can bring healing, comfort, and community for both you and your child.
For yourself, consider joining support groups for bereaved parents or solo parents. Connecting with others who understand your experience can bring healing and lessen feelings of isolation.
Keep the Connection Alive: Honoring Memories Together
Remembering and honoring the parent who has passed can be a meaningful way to support healing for the entire family. You might create rituals or traditions that celebrate their life and legacy.
Some ideas include:
Lighting a candle on special days or anniversaries as a symbol of God’s light and presence
Creating a photo album or memory box filled with keepsakes and prayers
Sharing stories or favorite memories at family gatherings
Planting a tree or flowers in their memory
Writing letters to the lost parent as a way to express feelings
Saying prayers together, asking God to hold your loved one and your family in His care
These acts keep the connection alive and remind children that love and faith don’t end with death.
You’re Not Alone in This Journey
Grieving the loss of a parent is a complex, ongoing process for both you and your child. It’s okay to have good days and hard days. Through it all, your love, presence, and patience provide the strongest foundation for healing.
If you’re wondering how to talk to kids about death or helping children cope with loss, remember that healing happens through love, connection, and faith — not perfection.
Join the No Map, Still Brave Community
If you’re navigating this difficult journey, know there is a supportive community ready to walk alongside you. Join No Map, Still Brave on Instagram and Facebook for ongoing encouragement, journaling prompts, faith-filled reflections, and practical tips tailored to solo parents facing grief and loss.
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I’m proud of you.
Lots of love,
Jamie Lee
Founder, No Map, Still Brave
