🌿 The Importance of Finding Joy in Small Moments: Gentle Ways to Reclaim Happiness After Divorce or Loss
When life has been upended by divorce, loss, or other major changes, the idea of joy can feel distant—or even impossible. You may find yourself moving through each day in survival mode: waking, working, caring for your children, going to bed, and repeating. Happiness can feel like a luxury you’re not allowed to have, or something that belongs to “someone else.”
But here’s the truth: joy is not a luxury. It’s a crucial part of healing, of rebuilding, and of creating a life that feels alive again. And the good news? You don’t need a dramatic life change to start experiencing it. Joy can be rediscovered in the small moments—the ones we often overlook.
This post will guide you gently through why small moments matter, how to notice them, and how to intentionally cultivate joy, even in the midst of grief, stress, or uncertainty.
Why Small Moments Matter
After trauma or loss, we often wait for “big” events to bring happiness: a vacation, a new relationship, or a fresh start. But waiting for monumental moments can leave us stuck in a life that feels gray.
Small moments—tiny pockets of joy—have real power. A quiet cup of coffee, a shared laugh with a child, a gentle breeze on your face, a favorite song playing on the radio—these moments release stress, refill your emotional reserves, and remind your mind and body that life can feel good, even in small doses.
When you actively notice and savor these moments, you’re training your brain to seek positivity and presence, rather than constantly focusing on what’s broken or missing. Over time, this rewires your emotional baseline, making it easier to experience calm, gratitude, and delight.
Mindful Awareness: Noticing Joy Around You
The first step to reclaiming joy is noticing it. Often, happiness is hiding in plain sight, but grief, stress, or fatigue dulls our awareness.
Try these simple practices:
Gratitude Journaling: Each day, write down one small thing that made you smile or feel content. Even tiny details count—a warm shower, a child’s hug, a moment of quiet.
Pause and Observe: Slow down during the day to observe the little things. Feel the sunlight on your skin. Notice the smell of your morning coffee. Listen to your child laughing.
Name the Feeling: When a joyful moment appears, say it out loud or silently to yourself: “This feels good. I notice it. I deserve it.” Acknowledging joy reinforces its presence in your mind and heart.
Mindfulness is like a muscle. The more you practice noticing joy, the stronger your ability to experience it consistently.
Creating Joyful Rituals
Joy isn’t only discovered—it can be intentionally cultivated. Gentle rituals are an excellent way to anchor small moments of happiness in your day. They don’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming; they just need to be meaningful to you.
Here are some examples:
Morning Moments: Start your day with a small ritual—sipping tea or coffee in peace, stretching, journaling a thought of gratitude, or saying a short prayer. These moments set the tone for the rest of the day.
Movement: Even a ten-minute walk outside or some gentle stretching can shift your mood and awaken a sense of delight in your body.
Creativity: Doodle, color, write, cook, or play music. Engaging creatively stimulates joy and helps release pent-up tension.
Connection: A laugh with a friend, a quick check-in with a loved one, or a moment of play with your child brings warmth and emotional richness.
By weaving small, joyful rituals into your day, you create pockets of replenishment that can sustain you through challenges.
Overcoming Guilt Around Joy
One of the hardest barriers to rediscovering happiness after loss is guilt. You may feel like you shouldn’t enjoy yourself, that your grief or responsibilities make joy inappropriate, or that happiness is selfish.
Here’s what I want you to know: joy is not a betrayal of your past or your pain. Experiencing delight does not erase your loss. In fact, cultivating happiness strengthens your resilience, gives you energy to care for others, and reminds you that life can hold both sorrow and beauty at the same time.
When guilt creeps in, try these reframes:
“Enjoying this moment doesn’t mean I am forgetting what I’ve lost.”
“Small joys help me show up as the parent and person I want to be.”
“I am allowed to experience happiness while honoring my grief.”
You are worthy of joy simply because you are alive, healing, and trying.
Joy and Your Children
Small moments of happiness aren’t just for you—they’re also gifts for your children. When they see you laugh, notice beauty, or embrace a quiet moment of peace, they learn that joy is safe, appropriate, and attainable.
Share small, mindful experiences together: a short walk, baking cookies, dancing in the kitchen.
Point out what makes you smile: “Look at that sunset—Isn’t it beautiful?”
Encourage them to notice their own joyful moments.
By modeling joy, you’re giving your children a roadmap for emotional resilience that will stay with them long after they leave home.
Practical Tips for Rediscovering Joy
Here are some easy ways to weave more joy into your life, even on busy or challenging days:
Start small: Choose one tiny thing each day that brings a smile—a song, a favorite snack, or a five-minute stretch in the sun.
Track it: Write it down. Journaling even one small joyful moment reinforces its importance.
Celebrate little wins: Did you finish a task? Connect with a friend? Enjoy a peaceful cup of tea? Acknowledge it.
Limit distractions: Step away from phones, screens, and obligations for just a few minutes to fully experience joy.
Create intentional breaks: Even a short pause in the day for yourself can reset your mood.
Practice gratitude: Pair moments of joy with gratitude—“I’m grateful for this laugh,” or “I’m grateful for this warm sun.”
Small, consistent steps compound over time. These little moments become the foundation of a life that feels lighter, brighter, and more resilient.
Joy as Part of Healing
Rediscovering joy is not about erasing the past. It’s about allowing your heart to feel alive again, one small, intentional moment at a time. Joy coexists with grief, challenges, and responsibilities. It doesn’t compete with them—it supports them.
By seeking out and savoring little moments of happiness, you’re teaching yourself that life can be full, even after heartbreak. You’re strengthening your emotional reserves, building resilience, and creating a life worth living—for you and your children.
✨ Tip: You can turn this into a mini journaling practice by jotting down one joyful moment per day. Over a week, you’ll start to see just how much brightness is already in your life—even when it feels hidden. Try these for your journal:
5 Tiny Joy Journaling Prompts
Nature Moment: Write about one thing in nature you noticed today—a sound, a sight, a feeling—and how it made you feel in that moment.
Savor the Simple: Describe a small, everyday pleasure you experienced today (like a warm drink, a cozy blanket, or a quiet moment) and what made it enjoyable.
Capture a Smile: Recall one moment that made you laugh or smile. Write down exactly what happened and how your body or mood shifted.
Mini Celebration: Journal one small accomplishment from your day—no matter how tiny. Reflect on why it matters and give yourself credit for it.
Gratitude Glimpse: List one thing you are grateful for today, and write a sentence about why it brings you joy or comfort.
Closing Thoughts
Healing after divorce or loss doesn’t happen all at once. It happens in small, steady steps. Rediscovering joy is part of that process. By noticing small moments, creating gentle rituals, and giving yourself permission to feel happy without guilt, you reclaim a vital piece of yourself.
Start today. Look for one small thing that brings a smile. Acknowledge it, savor it, and let it remind you that life, even after loss, can hold beauty.
Because you are still here. You are still brave. And you are allowed to feel joy—even in the tiniest of moments.
